Man-pregnancy or how i got fat since high school

In high school, I was about 125 pounds soaking wet. I stayed slim during college as well, and also the period of time between college and marriage/fatherhood. As I spent all my time at either work or home when my older son was young, I was a lot more sedentary than I was. I started drinking Mountain Dew to keep me awake during the sleepless nights. I ramped up the coffee.

So that brings me to my current state: fat bastard. 198 pounds of Irish lovin’. Now the weird thing is that it’s all in my belly. Like a basketball. Or a womb. I don’t look fat; I look pregnant. It’s odd. I have recently started to cut down on my sugar with my coffee and I switched to Diet Mountain Dew. I have started exercising.

Let me just say this: I will be thin and semi-muscular again but the one thing that will take forever to get used to is the fact that DIET MOUNTAIN DEW TASTES LIKE THE PLASTIC IT IS BOTTLED IN. How can Mountain Dew taste so good and Diet suck so hard?

Also, why did they not continue Mountain Dew Game Fuel? I understand it was marketing for Halo 3, but come on, that stuff was great. They keep Live Wire but not Game Fuel?

Stupid Pepsi suits.